Bret Michaels is quite possibly the stupidest man on Earth, or VH-1 pays better than his fading music career. A third season of Rock of Love?
Wait, hold up, I’m in shock! Do you mean to tell me that the slutty looking groupie ho, that we all thought may have only been using you to be on television actually turned put to be a slutty groupie-ho who was only using you to be on television? Again? Oh, Bret, gosh, that’s sad.
Maybe it has crossed your mind, Mr. Micheals, to attempt meeting women in a slightly different medium. Perhaps you realized that packing a bunch of girls with bleach blonde hair and fake breasts into house with cameras everywhere and asking them to “compete” for your love just isn’t going to work. Of course you have. The idea failed twice, so it’s time to make a change, set yourself up for success this time!
Wait, what? You’re doing what? Okay, listen, taking the same amount of the same type of girl and doing a reality show is exactly what you did in the past. Oh, it’s on a bus this season? Oh, well that changes everything!
Seriously, within the first five minutes of the show a girl attempted to serve him a shot from her vagina. Yeah, you heard me right. Because girls who stick vodka in their snatch are just the kind of woman you want to take home to mom, right?
Okay Bret Michaels, the eighties are over, the eyeliner you wear only succeeds in accentuating how dirt old and worn out you are, and the only reason I watched your stupid dating show was because the remote was missing and I knew you were really working your ass off to win this award.
Come on Bret, you’re better than this. Aren’t you? Wear it proudly my burnt out rock star, because right now, you epitomize sucking at life.
